Save The Planarians

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In which Velociraptor continues to struggle


Summer is nearing its end, and Velociraptor and Snipe have departed the BioStation to spend a week at their respective homes before heading back to college.  On Sunday, Velociraptor was at her home church, where she was cornered by the endlessly talkative, smothering-yet-sincere older lady who has apparently ”adopted” her.  For our purposes, she will be known as Mrs. Butterfly.

Mrs. Butterfly: I know how your mom feels, with you being gone so often!  I was sobbing at the airport when my own daughter left.

(Velociraptor vaguely recalled that Mrs. Butterfly’s daughter had gone to Latin America in some sort of medical capacity, but failed to remember any details.  She tried to look sympathetic but probably only succeeded in looking pained.)

Mrs. Butterfly: Of course, if I had known what was going to happen, it would have been even worse!

Velociraptor: (slightly panicked, since she was probably supposed to know this story already)  Why?  What happened?

Mrs. Butterfly: Well, she got parasites, and the doctors didn’t know how to treat -

Velociraptor: *enthusiastically*  Really?  What kind?

Velociraptor’s Appropriate Response Program:  You moron.  That’s the wrong thing to say.

Mrs. Butterfly: *slightly confused* Oh, I don’t know.  It was in her intestines, you know.

Velociraptor: Oh, that’s cool.

Velociraptor’s Appropriate Response Program: ABORT ABORT

Velociraptor: Oops, looks like it’s time to go, see you later, hope your daughter… feels better… *hurries away*

Velociraptor’s Appropriate Response Program: *sarcastic slow clap*

You’ve got to delete the Appropriate Response Program from all your subroutines.  Trust me.  People will adapt.  Like, for a little bit, they’ll be weirded out.  But then people you barely know will start bringing you squashed frogs and deer bones and dead bugs, and your collection of specimens will expand SO MUCH, and most people will stop being surprised that you have a favorite parasite.  And, yes, you will occasionally be shoe-horned into a category in people’s brains reserved for small children and that man who wanders around the public park talking to himself.  But that is ok.  Better to confuse a few people than deny yourself the opportunity to be excited about things you love.  And truly, most people adapt.

Filed under and the ones who don't adapt are EVEN MORE FUN because they cannot cope with your very existence and my gosh can you ever use that to your advantage also it's a very parsimonious way of finding people you actually want to hang out with lab adventures

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A Doctor Who-Themed Restaurant

Filed under doctor who food

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Debuting my new series with three new experiments.


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Everyone…I would like to introduce you to Victoria Frankenstein.

This is so important, it will be posted without queue.

Filed under Frankenstein MD pemberley digital